Laid off! Now what?

Some tips for laid-off workers:

• Practice interviewing.

• Devise a strategy plan, then break It down into small, daily steps. Even if you don’t get a job immediately,
celebrate each completed step as a success.

• Think positively. Instead of saying, “I’ll never get a job. I’m too old, not educated enough,” say, “Someone out
there needs me. I get things done. I’m willing to learn. I solve problems.”

• Take care of your body. Eat well. Exercise. Avoid drugs and alcohol.

• Review your finances. Figure out a budget for the next six months. (Most people find work within 90 days.)

• Cut costs by not using credit cards, eating in restaurants or shopping in malls.

• Check with the utility company and credit card agencies about a reduced payment plan.

Tips for family, friends and colleagues of laid-off workers:

• Acknowledge what’s happened. If you don’t know what to say, tell them that, or just offer your condolences.

• Follow up with things like cards, food or a phone call, if it’s appropriate.

• Offer any services you can: write a resume, get a contact for a job.

• Allow them to talk. People who’ve suffered a trauma or loss often need to tell the story over and over.

• Don’t tell them that it’s God’s will, all for the best or better in the long run.

• Grief: When people are laid off, they lose more than just income. They also lose status, self-esteem, a friendship circle, and a structure for their day.

Therapist Sally Malloy, who lost a government job more than 20 years ago, says the trauma was so great that she couldn’t go inside the state building for two years afterward. It brought up too much pain.

“I would start to get this feeling, almost an anxiety attack,” she recalls.

“ I wanted to cry, but I didn’t know the name of what I was feeling.”

Each person grieves differently, but it’s helpful to talk to people about what you’re going through. “People are kind and will help you if they can,” Harmon says. “Don’t be afraid to talk to your family and friends.”

Also, don’t expect to bounce back after a few days or weeks. While you’ll still have to work on finding a job, true acceptance of your situation may be further down the road.

• Anger: The depth that anger can reach may surprise you.

“I had pleasant daydreams about strangling a few people,” one former state worker admits. “You shock yourself with what you’ll think about.”

Channel that emotion into action, suggests Marcia Elder, president of Creative Pursuits, a personal training and coaching service.

“You have to go into action mode,” she says. “Put a plan together and work that plan, so that each day you can look at the progress toward your goals.” Meanwhile, figure out a way to vent. Family and friends are good for a little while, but they may grow tired of listening after a few weeks. The best thing to do is find other people who’ve been laid off, according to the booklet “Surviving a Layoff,” published by Dahlstrom & Co.

“Find those fellow victims,” the authors advise. “Get together, scream, shout, cry and vent that anger together. You’ll all feel better.”

• Depression: This can occur right away, or later, after you’ve been turned down for several jobs. If you’ve lost a job before — or recently experienced another loss, such as a divorce or a death of a loved one — you can go spiraling downward. “You have to keep on doing things, even if it’s against your nature,” says Eileen McCann, owner of Solutions Employment Assistance Program. “Eventually you’ll get to the point where you’ll see things differently and can accept it. Job hunting, admits Janet Lenz, associate director of Florida State University’s Career Center, is a process of seeking rejection. As a result, she tries to get her clients to re-frame the experience.

“The sooner you get through the no’s, the faster you’ll get to the yes,” she says.

If your depression continues, you might want to seek professional help Check the Web site at www.depression-screening.org for more information on the symptoms of clinical depression.

• SeIf-recrimination: Although Harmon lost her job because her school got rezoned and the number of students dropped, she still blamed herself. “I thought I had done something wrong,” she says.

Counselors say this is a typical reaction of people who are laid off. They should have done something or not done something. They should have seen it coming.

“One thing I always say is, “It’s not your fault. You didn’t cause this,’ “says Wyatt Pope, chief executive officer of Big Bend Jobs & Education Council ‘This is part of the legisla five process, or something else, and you’re not in his alone.”

Harmon says that meeting other unemployed . -teachers at a recent job fair made her realize she wasn’t the only one. ‘There are people worse off than me,” she says. Rather than blaming yourself, redirect your energies. Find people who are leading the kind of life you’d like to have, Elder suggests, and figure out what they did to get there. “It doesn’t have to all be in one person,” she says. .‘. “It can be several people. Try their strategies on for size.”

• Panic: People who’ve, been laid off often look like a deer caught in head lights, says Jan Brown, president of Cardinal Services, a staffing and recruiting company. “They’re scared and think they’ll never get through it,” she says. That causes some people to take the first job they’re offered, she says. Big mistake. “Then they end up in something they don’t like and pretty soon they’re saying, ‘I can’t believe I took this job.’”

A better strategy is to take a few weeks to take stock of your life and make clear decisions about where you want to go. You can enlist the help of a professional such as Brown or Elder, visit the San Diego Metro Career Center or the Career Services facilities at your college or university, or read self-help books such as “Unlimited Power” and “Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical & Financial Destiny,” both by Anthony Robbins.

“It’s a moment of truth and choice,” Elder says about being laid off. ‘This kind of situation can be a catalyst to taking a whole new path.”

You may want to update your skills, go back to school, change to a whole new career.

“It’s important to keep an open mind,” Brown says. ‘There may be something out there you’ve never considered before.”